Those aren't lollies
by fairyglitter101
Summary: That awkward moment when Natsu eats birth conrtol pills...


**Natsu's P.O.V.**

Happy and I made our way to Lucy's house, which was practically our second home; the Guild was our third.

"I'm starving…" Happy complained.

"And we couldn't catch any fish too" I pouted.

"Let's get Lushie and go on a mission"

We needed the money, we couldn't buy any food! So that's why we're heading over to Lucy's house. Hopefully she wasn't home because then we're free to eat her food without her complaining. And thanks to my nose I came across Lucy's secret stash of junk food in her room. Which she had hidden under her bed below a lose floor board.

"She won't come on a mission, she said she just paid her rent and wants to relax…she's so Lazy" I complained. Of course I didn't call Lucy that in her face, she would subject me to a torture worse than Erza's. Its goes by the name 'Lucy kick'. The most painful move I had come across in my existence.

"Yeah she's so lazy" Happy agreed.

We jumped through her window and landed on her bed and was greeted with the smell of Lucy. "Is she here?" he asked quietly. I sniffed and grinned broadly. I looked at my best friend and we both held sinister smiles. With Lucy gone we could eat all her food.

We ran for the kitchen, it was small. Her apartment was smaller than our house, but it was cosier and cleaner and always made us feel safe. Though of course I was the strongest person on the planet, but Lucy's place always made me feel a sense of inner peace. I dived for the fridge and Happy ransacked the cupboards and came back with a full bag of chips and two bottles of soft drink, though they were flat.

"Score!" Happy cheered. Dividing the chips between us and taking a bottle each, we were still hungry.

"Natsu?"

"Yush?" I answer with my mouth full of chips.

"I'm still hungry" He pouted as his stomach grumbles.

"Meh too" I agreed while swallowing the last pieces. I looked back in the fridge and frowned at the limited choices, milk, tuna (which Happy took), some salad, butter, cheese, and left over soup. None which was appetizing.

"Lucy needs to shop for some more food" Noted Happy "Should we check her room?"

Happy and I shared sinister looks before we were bolting down to her room. Moving the bed a little I struggled to lift the wood up, it would be easy for someone like Lucy who had such thin fingers, but for me it was much more difficult.

"I can't get it Happy!" I said in frustration.

I could burn the wood, but I knew it would make Lucy pissed. And as much I may hide it, I feared the Lucy kick.

"I need to lift the wood up" I said

Happy came back later with a butter knife and soon I managed to lift the piece of wood up. And at the sight our stomachs launched. Chocolates of all types were there, and Happy and I said nothing more as we started pulling out the food in front of us. We had divided it pretty well before we gained about four extra pounds.

"I hope Lushie isn't mad" Happy said patting his stomach looking down at the empty wrappers on the floor, a small look of worry on his face.

"She wouldn't have wanted her two favourite team mates to starve would she?" I consoled.

Happy looked hopeful "No, she isn't _that_ mean"

"See she would want us to eat all her food," I beamed as Happy looked relieved and ate his last Mars bar.

After we laid on her bed both looking up at the ceiling completely stuffed and tired from all the food Happy started laughing. I looked over to see a sly smile on his face as a blue paw covered his mouth.

"What?" I asked as if I'm missing some sort of joke.

"I know now"

"Know what?" I asked

"I know" Happy said mysteriously.

"What do you know?"

"I just realized"

"Realized what?" Getting annoyed that Happy knows something I didn't is making me mad as he continued to laugh into his paw.

"What do you know?" A tick mark appeared on my forehead

"Why Lucy has gained so much weight" Happy giggled.

"She's gained weight?" I personally didn't think she had but Happy was the one that was always carrying her from near death experiences, so I guess he would know. But then again Lucy herself was always complaining about her weight now. Mainly after Happy started pointing it out, but it was kind of funny after eating her whole stash of food. I couldn't help but laugh even though I knew it was a little mean.

"Yeah she's much heavier now, and now I know why" I chuckled before we fell back into silence again. We laid there for a few minutes before Happy got up.

"Where are you going?"

"I need to pee," And he flew off, I went back to the main room and turned on the TV. After hearing a toilet flush Happy came back a few moments later

"Natsu look what I found!" Happy shouted. He was holding a silver circular object. "Tic tacks!" He said cheerfully looking happy with his find.

"Where did you find them?" I asked.

"In the bathroom," Happy answered.

"That's weird, why would she keep them there?" But then again this was Lucy, and she is a weirdo.

"She's weird?" Happy asked.

"That's what I was thinking"

"Wants some?" Holding the packet out to me. I examined it. It wasn't the same type of tic tacks you would find in shops. They were going in a circle and had four different colors, going blue, red, white and then yellow. And above each were the days of the week. There was one for each days of the week. I took them from Happy.

"These look strange," I said as I examine them.

"Each color is for a different flavour Natsu," Happy explained.

"Do you think?" I had a strange feeling about them.

"Yeah. And these are special ones," his eyes shines on them.

"How?" I asked

"You only get one per day"

"How do you know this?" I raised a brow.

"It's says so," He pointed his blue paw at the days of the week above each one.

"Interesting, I'll have all the red ones," I said.

"That's not fair! I want some red ones as well," Happy argued

"But red is my favourite color" I complained

"But it's not fair, can't we both have some of each color?" he pleaded. Then I realized I was being a little selfish.

"You're right, sorry Happy" I started popping them out of their packet and started dividing the different colors between us.

"Good thing Lucy hadn't started this packet yet, or it wouldn't be fair" I said

"Aye" He agreed. Already divided them I picked up a red one and sniffed it, it didn't smell bad. I poked out my tongue and licked it. It was a little sweet. Happy just swallowed one without a moment of hesitance, he made a face.

"What, are they bad? Did Lucy try to poison us?" I asked.

"No, they're chewy. It's sweet on the outside but in the middle, it sort of reminds me of medicine"

"Ew, why would Lucy have candy that taste like that?" I looked away in disgust.

"She's a weirdo?" He suggested.

I nodded and took mine. Happy was right it was sweet on the outside and the middle wasn't that bad, but I did question Lucy's taste of Tic tacks.

"It's not that bad," Happy started testing one of each, but opted for just sucking on the outside so he doesn't have to taste the inside, He said his tongue was 'sensitive' because he was a cat.

They weren't very good, but what had me stumped was why Lucy was keeping them in the bathroom.

It was at that moment that Lucy came home; she had grocery bags in hand and was humming a tune. She was in a good mood and she had new food, which mean she couldn't be mad about the loss of food that we ate.

"Hey Luce!" I yelled from the lounge room waving my hand.

"KKYYAAAA!" She dropped the bags and looked over to where Happy and I were sitting crossed legged on the couch. Then gave out a sign of relief and gave us a small smile.

"At least the house isn't burned down. And did you use the door this time," Lucy said.

"Yes,' I lied.

"Good, baby steps" She smiled.

She picked up the bags and started putting them away, it wasn't till she was done with the loading the fridge (she hadn't noticed the missing tuna) that she moved over to the cupboards. I tensed slightly. And when she opened it she froze and whirled at me.

"HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO EAT ALL MY FOOD?!" She boomed her eyes narrowing on me and Happy, clearly pissed. Happy very secretly pushed the now flavourless tic tacks on the floor without Lucy knowing. Calming slightly she spoke "Feeding you two cost more than my rent money."

I felt a pang of guilt at this, I already knew she was always struggling to pay her rent and wouldn't have helped with Happy and me. I knew Happy felt a little guilty as well as he didn't look her in the eye.

"Sorry Luce," we said together, her eyes softened a bit.

"So what did you guys do while I wasn't here?" She questioned. I knew better then to tell her I ate nearly all her food including the stash under bed and the tic tacks.

"Watched some movies," I lied as I look down.

"What did you watch?" she asked.

"Ahhh…" I looked at the pile of DVDs in front of the TV "The Fiore's princess" This seemed to be funny as Lucy laughed. "What?"

"I didn't know you liked chick flicks" she giggled.

"I do" I said indigently. _What were chick flicks?_

"Hmmm, and who was your favourite character then?" I panicked slightly and by the way Lucy spoke I knew she didn't believe me. I looked at the back of the cover and picked out the first name I saw.

"Helena," I said quickly. Happy didn't speak and was looking very nervous, Lucy raised her eyebrows.

"Really?" She smiled, bringing out a bowl of chips. "And why...er…her?" She was smirking now.

"She was played well" Lucy nodded at this.

"She was. Did you notice anything about her?" Lucy asked.

"That she was pretty?" Lucy burst out laughing at this till the point where she could barely function to breath. She looked back at my confused face before she started laughing again, doubled over. When she looked back at me with tears in the corner of her eye, she spoke.

"Wow, Natsu"

"What?"

"I didn't know you were into guys" She sniffled in laughter.

"W-what? I'm not!" I argued, my face reddening.

"If you actually did watch the movie" Okay so I was busted and she must have known from the start. "You would have noticed that Helena was played by a guy. He did play Helena rather well almost believable in some scenes"

I was too embarrassed to speak.

"So what did you really do here Natsu?" her eyes twinkling and was looking deeply amused.

"I...um...er" I turned to Happy feeling very uncomfortable with Lucy sitting next to me after she had caught me out on a lie, and I didn't want to ruin her mood by saying I ate her Candy stash. "Happy what did we do?"

I noticed how Happy's tail was hanging over the edge of the low couch and was pushing the tick tacks very quietly under the couch without Lucy knowing. Happy had a look of panic on his face when Lucy shifted her gaze over to him.

"Um, well…" Happy's eyes looking anywhere but Lucy's. I could tell by the look on her face that she knew something fishy was going on. Than she did the last thing I expected. She start stroking Happy's head and I knew he was trying very hard not to purr right now.

"Happy" She spoke soothingly. Alarm was coursing through me. "If there was something bad you and Natsu did, you can tell me and I promise you I won't be mad," Happy looked stricken. Was this a trick? But I could also see the temptation in his eyes as well. He wanted to tell…he was going to crack…a new emotion was set in me…_Fear_. I had to changed the subject.

"So what did you do Luce?" Her gaze shifted to me and she instantly knew what I was doing.

"I was at the guild," She looked back at Happy and was now scratching under his chin. I could tell he was fighting a small war within himself. "I promise I won't be mad…" Happy rested his head in her hand….he was going to crack…

...

...

...

And he lost it.

"Well when we got here…we came in through the window…" I saw Lucy's eyes harden at this "And we ate the food in your cupboard because we were really hungry…" Eating her food wasn't exactly new news to Lucy, but her eyes did soften when Happy used a childlike voice while speaking to her, and saying how we were starving which seemed to be working in our favour.

"And then Natsu called you lazy for not going on a mission so we could get money for food." Her eyes were now gleamed maliciously but otherwise was still stroking Happy's head coaxing him to speak. I was now in fear for his life, she had nails. And they were stroking his head. What if she got angry? And I knew once Happy said that last part I froze knowing now that my fate had been sealed.

"Anything else Happy?" She stroked his back. I had my fingers crossed behind my back that he would make it out of this alive.

"We ate…" Please shut up Happy! "the Candy under your bed…You're not mad are you?"

Lucy didn't say anything for a moment, and her voice came out very…calm. I knew this should have been comforting but it only made me feel more panicked. "It's okay…I'm not _mad_" her voice sounded very forced. When she stood up, she heard a small crunching noise from under her. She moved her foot to see a squashed tic tack. Happy didn't look too worried anymore, he probably thought he had told her the worst of it. But something was telling me Lucy was extremely pissed. My dragon sense were tingling.

"What is that?" Lucy asked pointing at the tic tack on the floor near her.

"Oh, that's a tic tack," Happy explained.

"I had tic tacks?"

"Yeah" Happy said like it was the most obvious thing. "They were in your bathroom" Lucy looked confused for a moment before she sprinted down to the bathroom. Happy gave me a confused look. I gave him a glare.

"Happy!" I hissed. He looked alarmed "What have you done!"

"She wasn't mad..." He shrugged.

"Wasn't mad?! She's _furious_! We need to leave now!" Happy didn't believe me but still followed to the living room window. We didn't even make it in time.

"NATSUUUUUUUUU!" She yelled. I froze once again and Happy's tail was stiff in the air, the hair puffed out in fright. Lucy came stomping into the room with a look of Fury. "You have done it this time!"

"What?!" I looked over at Happy, but he had disappeared. This was an every man for themselves situation.

"Those weren't tic tacks!" She screeched. My heart was pounding so hard it was threatening to burst through my chest. The only thing that was scarier than Erza without her strawberry cheesecake was Lucy in demon mode.

"Then what were they?!" Those little things that weren't tic tacks I personally don't think they could be that big of a deal. But to Lucy they were. And right before she done her most dangerous move the 'Lucy kick' she yelled her last final words before I was kicked out of her apartment.

"THOSE WERE BIRTH CONTROL PILLS!"


End file.
